Learning about Light, Grain, and Manual Settings Days 2-10

 

This is a collection of from the past few days as I've been learning about my Olympus Pen camera and how to use it.

It been fun to learn about the different features of my camera as well as the basics of composition.

I started off following an ecourse but have sort of mixed and matched my resources.   Here are few of my recommendations for other beginners looking for a palce to start.

Unraveled (online) School of Photography:  This school is for the novice to advance photographers. They have classes that range from compositing, editing, inspiration, and the basics.  And its only $15 a month for a giant amount of info.  

Susannah Conway Photo Meditations: This ecourse is also another great one for beginers. Susannah breaks things down into simple doable action steps.

 

 

 

 
 

The Curious Creative

imageThe creative journey has brought up some questions for me. What is difference between pushing and forcing? What are the signs to stop, change direction, and let go? What does it mean when something is draining and not charging/uplifting? Do I sit through the uncomfortableness, or do I abandon ship all together? I have been in business for myself for the past 9 years, this has taken shape in many different ways, etsy businesses, aerial bootcamp, personal trainer, acupuncture practice, air bnb landlord, aerial performer, and other smaller creative projects. I have started and created businesses that have made up the tapestry of my income.

By definition that makes me an entrepreneur, however I’ve never really identified with that term. I identify more with the term creative, because it seems to encompass more of who I am. My desire to create and build an income and be my own boss is in service to support creativity, self development, and helping other people.

The measure by which I gauge if something is worth doing is “Is this fun? does it bring me joy?, does this light me up? If the answer is yes, then my next question is “Will this add to or take away from the lifestyle I want to live (i.e will I still be able to spend time with my children, my husband, and have time for creative pursuits?”) If the answer is Yes. Then the last question is usually “How much of a financial risk will this involve?” If the answer is minimal then I most likely will pursue it. This is my business and life compass, it has nothing to do with numbers or marketing and strategy and everything to do with the feeling I am after.

There is so much information out there on how to build a business, how to create more wealth, how to sell better, how to build your audience, and I actually love a lot of it. I appreciate that there are other creatives out there pursuing their dreams, bringing new ideas and verbage around being a business owner, and making a living doing it.

But the chatter and all the advise can become overwhelming and actually create more confusion for me at times, making the dream of become an creativeprenuer all the more elusive. The do’s and dont’s can sometimes make it difficult to decide when to just put yourself out there with the “ugly” work, or when it is time to wait it out.

“you guys, just get started, sit down and do the work!” - some business coach

or

“Be vulnerable but don’t share what is personal” - some business coach

And that’s when I have to say “fuck it” and throw it all out, and just listen to what my gut is saying, listen to what I feel like doing, and be willing to risk the mistakes and the hard lessons for the pursuit of doing what I love.

Because the truth is that most of us learn by failing and flailing at something.

I wish that I would see more of the process of the in-between pursuits of the passions in our lives, I wish that while on the way to the bigger dreams of our lives people talked about what its like to be in the middle of something rather than waiting until we reach the top of the mountain, to me that is inspiring, to me that is where the interesting part of life happens.

In the mud and loving it.

Get Messy.

Ten years from now we'll look back at this [challenge] and laugh, so why wait?!?! -Tony Robbins

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This 9 months sentence, and I don't mean it how you think.

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Although I'm thrilled about being a mother again, this pregnancy was not planned. And as I'm starting to feel better and R is off to school I am very aware of the "free" time I have until I will be consumed with baby stuff, sleepless nights, and less oxygen to my brain. So the push is on to create a strong base in all the areas of my life so that when little M arrives I can work on maintaining what I've built.

Fire under ass currently lit.

It may be wrong to liken this to getting 3 months to live, but I keep thinking of that idea as time slowly ticks on and also moves too quickly at the same time.

Was this how my father felt when he was told the news of 6 months to live? How do you prioritize what is most important? What do you do first? What do you not do at all?

While this may be a very existential seemingly grim way of looking at this small amount of time I have before I become a parent of 2 and not of 1, it is the closest thing I can think of to describe the urgency to create, to do, to make.

I hear also the voice in my head to enjoy, to relax, to take a nap and rest, but while I know those are sound words and I do take moments to rest, the bigger urgency arises that soon I will be bigger, soon I will be tired, and soon I will have no energy to put towards these things I want to accomplish.

So I press forward, tying up loose ends, acting on creative impulses, creating creative habits, and only filling up my time with things that are urgent and bring me joy, leaving space for moment likes this one, sitting at a bus stop, where finally a thought came that needed to be written down.

Right or wrong this is my nature. Move create, move create.

We all have a limited time here, that is nothing new, but there is something REAL about having a deadline. And waiting until everything is perfect, or the time is right, or the right moment to present yourself to the world may be too late.

I’m all about the beautiful ugliness, and messiness of STARTING SOMETHING, I love seeing it, I am enjoying doing it, and hearing about it, and sharing it with others. Sure it’s great to hear about the success stories of people going through the tough ugly shit and then become something AMAZING, but I’m more interested in the beginners, the fumbling and bumbling and willingness to be BRAVE and to TRY, you just never know what may come from it. That’s inspiring.

Better Questions, More Inspired Answers

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Inside us all there is a point of resistance when doing anything, but especially with creative work there comes a time when we want to throw our hands up and scream. “but I don’t WANNA!, urrrggg, I don’t wanna do _______!!!

I feel like this sometimes with my creative endeavors whether it’s performing,writing, or practicing music. I feel the inital excitiment of starting a project and then inevitably at some point I want to kick and scream, and be defiant against myself and say, “but I don’t wanna!, this is stupid!”.

And at that point no one is there to hold me accountable and say

“ i know, but you have to.”

Because I don’t have to do anything, I can quit right at that moment, or I can choose to move forward despite my irritation.

Usually what propels me forward is that the irritation of not doing the thing outweighs my irritation of doing it. It come from a place inside me of NEEDING to, write that blog, finish choregraphing the routine, draw that picture, or play that song, as oppose to a wanting to accomplish something.

If you’ve never experienced this before then it may not make sense, but most of my creative friends have expressed this same idea that it may start as a want, but more it comes from a need to express something within.

I have many such urges in life, mostly none of them having to do with my actual j.o.b, or how I make money. I can spend an afternoon writing and filling my cup with positive thoughts, podcasts, books of people proving that you can live a creative life AND make a living doing it, and I feel most at home in that space. The trouble comes when my censor persists.

Why are you doing this? You SHOULD be working more, towards building your business, you SHOULDN’T be spending time on all this creative stuff, What’s the point, don’t you want to be making more money? SHOULDN’T you focus on making more money doing your existing business? What do you do all day? You SHOULD be more efficient with you time? What’s the point of writing? No one cares? You’ll never make money doing that.

Wheesh! Not so nice right?

We are always the hardest on ourselves, I would NEVER say these things to anyone I know and love, because in my heart of hearts I see their beauty, their gifts, their already amazing success in the world, so why is it so easy to be hard on myself?

Despite those crazy thoughts going through my head I am learning to push forward, to get thick skin, and do it anyways. But as I’ve learned if you ask yourself terrible questions, you will get terrible responses, so in response to my censor I asked myself better questions, to which I found some amazing answers.

Why do you do creative work? How can this help fuel your already existing businesses? How will this improve your relationship with your son? Your fiancé? By pursuing your creative interests how will this make you feel?

It makes me feel good, feminine, free, inspired, happy, passionate, alive It fills my cup, fuels my creative itch, and ultimately gives back to whatever it is I am doing I am working on my business, by figuring out what it is that really makes me happy, what really drives my practice, by learning what I like to do and what I don’t like to do, that will help me make my business fresh and interesting and exciting. This will also help me serve my clients better. I am considering what I think I SHOULD do vs. what I WANT to do and I will be able to do sustainably, long term. I am letting the censor be present but also learning to work with you. How does your input help me? The “point” isn’t to make money specifically with my writing, or these lunch notes, the point is to exercise my creative muscle, otherwise it atrophies, otherwise I atrophy. I am learning about time, and exertion, and using that time to accomplish things. I feel best when I work in smaller amounts of time, getting to spend more time with family, have room for creative inspiration, and fuel my body, soul and spirit.

If you also are working with your censor on whatever project you are doing, try asking yourself better questions.

Better questions give more inspired answers.

Happy to be with you creatives on this journey! Love to hear your creative successes!