Day 9: I've been practicing my homework that Jill gives me every week. In this video you see me reading off a paper, both for my memory and also because I'm still feeling a little sheepish about sharing my process of dance with you.
The kids are less enthusiastics about me tapping, the youngest usually yells "NO!" when the tap shoes come on. Jill suggessted maybe getting her tap shoes so she would appreciate it more. I'm sure my husband would LOVE a house full of click clackers!
Day 3: Dancing with the kids is a nice comfort blanket in this beginning phase of dance. We did a few rounds of listening to my daughters favorite song from the Trolls Movie.
I'm trying to document this month the best I can, but I definetly feel an added twinge of anxeity everytime I press record.
Ah, whatever, Enjoy!
Observation: What do I notice?
This one is inspired by the orinator of 12 experiemnts Sarah Natsumi Moore. She did a month of dance and ever since then I've wanted to try this experiment, but to be honest I've been too chicken. I envy people that can move their body gracefully and effortlessly on the GROUND, for me I can feel comfortable in doing my aerial silks but have always feel so awkward when it comes to dancing on the ground.Read More
I'm not going to pretend that I'm immune to negative feedback, not getting picked, not getting a job, being broke up with, or you name it, but I do think that rejection is unavoidable and has so much to offer if you let it.Read More
Although I'm thrilled about being a mother again, this pregnancy was not planned. And as I'm starting to feel better and R is off to school I am very aware of the "free" time I have until I will be consumed with baby stuff, sleepless nights, and less oxygen to my brain. So the push is on to create a strong base in all the areas of my life so that when little M arrives I can work on maintaining what I've built.
Fire under ass currently lit.
It may be wrong to liken this to getting 3 months to live, but I keep thinking of that idea as time slowly ticks on and also moves too quickly at the same time.
Was this how my father felt when he was told the news of 6 months to live? How do you prioritize what is most important? What do you do first? What do you not do at all?
While this may be a very existential seemingly grim way of looking at this small amount of time I have before I become a parent of 2 and not of 1, it is the closest thing I can think of to describe the urgency to create, to do, to make.
I hear also the voice in my head to enjoy, to relax, to take a nap and rest, but while I know those are sound words and I do take moments to rest, the bigger urgency arises that soon I will be bigger, soon I will be tired, and soon I will have no energy to put towards these things I want to accomplish.
So I press forward, tying up loose ends, acting on creative impulses, creating creative habits, and only filling up my time with things that are urgent and bring me joy, leaving space for moment likes this one, sitting at a bus stop, where finally a thought came that needed to be written down.
Right or wrong this is my nature. Move create, move create.
We all have a limited time here, that is nothing new, but there is something REAL about having a deadline. And waiting until everything is perfect, or the time is right, or the right moment to present yourself to the world may be too late.
I’m all about the beautiful ugliness, and messiness of STARTING SOMETHING, I love seeing it, I am enjoying doing it, and hearing about it, and sharing it with others. Sure it’s great to hear about the success stories of people going through the tough ugly shit and then become something AMAZING, but I’m more interested in the beginners, the fumbling and bumbling and willingness to be BRAVE and to TRY, you just never know what may come from it. That’s inspiring.