I’m afraid of looking silly and being embarrassed just like everyone else is. I’m afraid of trying something and publically falling on my face.
But I’m also someone who doesn’t like to wait.
I learn by putting myself out there, seeing what works, sitting with the questions and letting them work me and then most time I try to work them.
I am in process most of the time and I am at the mercy of the creative sparks that keeps me awake at night, or wakes me early in the morning, or stop me while I’m driving. I call them sparks because they are like tiny bursts of inspiration that both excite me and send within me a sense of urgency.
I am a maker.
I make things.
All. The. Time
This is the way I learn. I have always learned through making my ideas tangible.
I believe in our DNA is a need to be creative, to make things, to use not just our minds but our hands, our voice, our senses. I’m not a scientist but I believe this to be true.
Our creative sparks lie sleeping until we awaken them and let them run free. They are always there, waiting.
I get asked all the time, how do you have time for that? How do you have time with two kids, a dog, a husband and acupuncture practice to do this artful practice? How do you have time?
I never know how to answer that question so I usually deflect and say o you know before the kids wake up.
But what I want to say is that creativity is included in my basic needs. Without it I will die.
I know that sound dramatic, but I say this because I have lived lives before this one, where I left my passion, joy, and art and starved my creativity because I believe that creativity and art and pursuing it was a luxuary. Or the partner I was with at the time thought it was silly.
We are taught that first we provide for our family, create a stable life, do all the practical things and then if there is time, then you can breake out the box of crayons, guitar, piano, paintbrush,
Once you’ve paid your dues then you are allowed to play.
I’ve reversed the order of this in my life now, but I do so “in the closet” so to speak.
Talk to me about water color, or illustrations or running a creative business and watch me light up. I could talk about all things creative for hours and hours barely stopping for a drink.
But rarely do I share this with the outside world.
I am grateful that I have cultivated a group of women who cheer me on and support me through this messy beautiful path of the creative.
But like all things we cherish and are precious, I know to be careful about sharing them with the wrong people.
But I think however that we all need to all come out of the creative closet.
That is much of the intention behind sharing my work and calling it the messy middle. You are seeing my business evolve and unfold as I am living it. If you’ve paid close attention you may have seen where I have failed or made mistakes. But all of it is part of the process, all of it tells my story.
I hear of too many dreams left in the shadows or done undercover so no one can point the finger and say “why are you being so selfish” “why are you working on that art, how will you make money anyways?”
Out in the open we must make time for our creative work and share it with the world.
In doing so we change the perceived paradigm and need for others to secretly be painting away in the dark. Because you see as closest creatives we wake up daily needing to make, create, paint, draw, write, ect. We would do it even if no one was watching.
If you are looking for a way to flex your creativity muscle and do it out in the open, check out the sparks project that I’ve created. The rules are simple 20 minutes of time spent on creative action, for 50 non consecutive days, over a 90 day period.
Cheers to being in the Mess!